The freshly washed smell…..now that I keep my hair nappy, it is cleaner than it has ever been. I love to wash it with Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner. Oooooohweeeeee. It smells nyum! And he loves it! How about it? I traded the chemical smell of relaxers for the fresh smell of coconuts and strawberries!
It’s different….so I have been on a protective styling challenge this year, but when I unleash my hair he can’t keep his eyes off me. It’s like he’s looking at a different woman. With everyone rocking a weave, he loves the days I just let all the kinks out. He loves that I look different
My new attitude…. So there was a time I would never let a man see my real hair in less than “perfect” condition. If I was taking my braids out, my man wouldn’t see me that weekend!. That unruly hair was a secret for me, myself and I! But now I let it all out…my hair that is…wink wink! He gets to see me pick my fro and all the fun involved in it.
He can touch my hair. He can put his hands in it and not feel any tracks. I no longer have to deal with that embarrassment. You know when you get a weave and keep playing that duck n dive game every time he tries to run his hands through it? Yeah, that’s not me when my fro is out. He can touch it whenever. He loves that cottony feel….
Spontaneity! We can dive into a pool any time we feel like it. I can swim like a normal person and not like a dog trying to keep my head above the water. I don’t care about “sweating the style out”. Who cares? I wash it 2 to 3 times a week anyway. I’m free to do what I want when I want.
*The fine print*….yes, there is a catch! He also has to put up with hours of conversation about hair. Now he is a guy’s guy. And I know it must be real love as he endures my various crazy requests to “touch my hair!” , “smell my hair”…”take a picture of my hair”……..or “yeah please pick up bread, eggs, milk ….and Tresemme naturals conditioner!”. The poor man has had to endure spending the afternoon with a girl with a Pick n Pay plastic bag on her head as I deep condition my hair. Sometimes I just whip out the hold clingwrap mid-conversation and start wrapping my hair. Or sometimes when I have Jamaican Black Castor Oil in my hair, he has to deal with that smokey fragrance in my hair. lol! Have you ever watched someone put eggs in their hair? Eeeeewwww!
The product junkie in me cannot stop buying products. So every time he needs some Vaseline for his lips, he has to stand there in my bathroom for a good 5minutes, wading through the bottles and tubs and tubes.
But what I am grateful for is that he has been supportive in my healthy, natural hair journey. Not many men are. Some prefer their women to always have weaves down to their backs. But he is happy with whatever makes me happy. And he encourages me to wear it out and let the sun shine on my nappy head.
I hope you enjoyed my take on natural hair in a relationship. The reality is that not all men embrace the natural hair look. Its up to you to decide how you wear your hair and how that fits in your relationship. Ultimately I believe confidence is very attractive. Your man may not necessarily like the kinks and frizz, but he will definitely love the confidence you have.....
Many of us want lovely long flowing locks. I won’t lie, that is the ultimate goal in my hair journey. I watched a Disney movie a few weeks ago, Rapunzel! She had looong shiny and strong hair. I want, I want! or hair like Yaya da Costa above, daaaayaaaamn!
But how do we achieve this? Is there some kind of potion we can apply that will magically grow our hair? Some kind of recipe that will allow the hair to sprout like Jack’s magic beans that turned into the giant stalk.
So firstly I have some bad(ish) news: there is nothing you can apply to your head or take in your body that will make your hair start magically growing to epic lengths. Ok now that’s out the way, keep reading for the reality……
Yes I said there is nothing you can do that will MAKE your hair grow. That’s because your hair is growing anyway! Even right now as you read this, it is growing. So why does it sometimes seem that our hair isn’t growing. Its easier to notice that your hair is growing when you relax your hair. You get new growth coming through, several centimeters at a time. You re-touch the hair then you see the extra length. BUT your hair doesn’t to be retaining that length. Cos by the end of the year your hair is the same length it was at the beginning, or in some cases shorter!
That leads us to the first point. Clearly our hair is always growing, but we need to retain that length!!!! What does that mean? How do we do that?
Retaining Length
We need make sure we keep the hair that is growing. The ends of your hair are the oldest parts. In our routine we need to make sure that we hold on to these. How do we start? I would say start with a fresh trim, especially if you have split ends. Since these cannot be repaired, you need to get rid of them to stop the damage.The ends of our hair need to be moisturized and conditioned regularly.
Moisturize ad seal daily, and also do special oil treatments and deep condition to keep the ends healthy.
Another reason our ends can be unhealthy and breaking is that we leave them unprotected. Sometimes your hair rubs on the clothing you are wearing. It can rub on your collar and this can rob it of moisture and also hair can catch on your collar and break. Thus many women use protective styling to retain length. This means wearing your hair in a bun, where the ends are protected from the elements and your clothing. Some women do “damp bunning” before tying the hair up they apply moisture and put it in the bun. Some go a step further and cover the bun in plastic before putting a fake bun over it. This way you ends are being super moisturized throughout the day.
Other protective styles include wigs and braids. My personal favourite is corn-rowing my hair then
wearing a half-wig. It looks cute, and my ends are always protected from the elements.
So what’s the other way we can help our hair grow? By having a healthy scalp.
Scalp care
As I mentioned before you can’t apply something to your scalp to MAKE it grow. However, you can ensure that your scalp is an conducive environment for the growing of hair….huh? ok think of it like a field of maize. If the soil is not healthy, the maize will not grow to be healthy no matter how much fertilizer you apply to the soil.
The same applies to our hair. Start with a healthy scalp. When you follow a good regimen you will notice that your scalp will get healthier and healthier. Dandruff will be minimized or completely eliminated (I will do a dedicated post on this a later date). Hair grows at its maximum rate on a clean and healthy scalp.
Washing or co-washing your hair regularly will help keep it clean. Product build up on your scalp will clog the pores on your scalp and your hair will grow at a slower rate. Everyday our scalp sweats and attracts dirt too. We need to regularly clean the scalp. In my routine, I wash twice a week and a day after I wash the hair I apply a light natural oil such as coconut oil or jojoba oil. When I have braids or a weave in, I still wash it (will also do a post on how to do this) but I mix in peppermint oil into the scalp mix, this prevents dandruff and soothes the scalp. I also use Jamaican black castor oil on my scalp. It helps to draw out impurities from the hair.
However you can also get the refined castor oil in health shops and other shops such as Pick n Pay where I buy the brand called Hercules.A word of note with the use of castor oil, as stated it draws out impurities from your scalp. Many women have reported how well it works for them, however for some with a sensitive scalp it can create a bit of sensitivity. In that case I would suggest diluting it in carrier oil such as olive or coconut. If that is not effective, I would say stop using it on you scalp. Perhaps you can try using it to seal your ends, and for your scalp try oil.
Part of scalp care….and I love this part…..is scalp massages. Your hair needs nutrients from your body to help it grow. These nutrients reach the scalp in its normal circulation function. One way to increase circulation on your scalp is to massage it. A gentle massage everyday or a few times a week will go a long way. It will help you relax at the same time too. Dab your fingers in your favourite oil and gently massage your scalp using your fingertips in small circular motions. Take care not to scratch your scalp with your fingernails.
And the last tip for growing long hair is to do it from the inside….
Healthy body=healthy hair
This is the most important part in my opinion. Ensuring that your body is healthy goes a long way in growing hair, after all hair is a reflection of internal health.
Having a healthy balanced diet is essential not only for you wellbeing but also for lovely shiny hair.
I also take a multivitamin to help me along. If you want to take supplements as well, talk to your doctor or pharmacist first, they will help you integrate this into your lifestyle and diet.
Part of body health is also exercise. I read an article from the States recently where the American Surgeon General expressed concern that black women may be sacrificing their health for their hair. He referred to the fact that African American women are hesitant to embark in exercise at times because they do not want to sweat or get their hair wet and ruin their hairstyle.
This made me sad. Our hair should not get in the way of our lives. It shouldn’t come to the point where you can’t jump in the pool with your kids because “mummy doesn’t want to get her hair wet. Its only hair, it will grow and you can always wash it. Don’t let the need to keep your locks in perfection prevent you from exercising and getting on with the rest of your life. So go on that jog, sweat it out in the sauna…your hair loves moisture! I will definitely be doing a post on African hair and exercise in the future.
I am a realist so I will also add that don’t expect your hair to grow over night. Hair grows an average of 1.25cm per month. This of course varies for each person, but you can see how long it takes to grow. Learn patience and I would avoid doing length checks too often. A watched pot never boils. Check up on length every 3 or 4 months and that will help you see how far its growing.
So that’s it! That’s how we can help our hair grow long and healthy. This is the basis of our hair care routine and we build upon these principles.
