Ok so we have both been MIA for while. What happened?....LIFE happened! Things got a bit crazy for a while but we will be making sure to upload new posts.
I have a lot of cool stuff to share...hairwise J I got my cousin to bring me a bottle of Jamaican Black Castor Oil from the States. I LUV it!!!! So I'm gonna do my next post discussing the benefits and uses of JBCO. A brief summary is that it is great for sealing as well as helping to regrow edges...i ain't mad at that! It is not yet readily available in Africa, so a good substitute is the refined castor oil you find in the stores. Yes, the same one your mum used to make you take as a child.lol! i never got that experience but have heard this remedy from many people.
As mentioned in previous posts I stopped relaxing in September 2009. I am so keen for my fro to just grow grow grow! The main frustration with natural hair, for me at least, is that even though it grows long, because it is kinky it appears shorter due to shrinkage. My hair falls below my shoulders when stretched but if i do a wash-n-go it looks about 8cm long L So i intend to use JBCO as a hair growth aid in 2012. I want to show off my fro by summer 2012. It is time.
I will also be stocking up on some products while i am on vacation. I am keen to get my hands on the Eco Styler gel so i can start rocking some nice styles in my hair. Probably the best part of my holidays are when i take a day to visit the hair shops in Finsbury Park,London. *cue choir singing...aaaaaaahhhhh* Pak’s Stores! They have a shop for wigs, another for weaves, another for products....oooh chile! I am in love with that place. So look forward to some product reviews. I know I said I would try and curb the product junkie within me but i just cant help myself! "Hi I'm Linda, and I'm a hair product junkie!"
The freshly washed smell…..now that I keep my hair nappy, it is cleaner than it has ever been. I love to wash it with Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner. Oooooohweeeeee. It smells nyum! And he loves it! How about it? I traded the chemical smell of relaxers for the fresh smell of coconuts and strawberries!
It’s different….so I have been on a protective styling challenge this year, but when I unleash my hair he can’t keep his eyes off me. It’s like he’s looking at a different woman. With everyone rocking a weave, he loves the days I just let all the kinks out. He loves that I look different
My new attitude…. So there was a time I would never let a man see my real hair in less than “perfect” condition. If I was taking my braids out, my man wouldn’t see me that weekend!. That unruly hair was a secret for me, myself and I! But now I let it all out…my hair that is…wink wink! He gets to see me pick my fro and all the fun involved in it.
He can touch my hair. He can put his hands in it and not feel any tracks. I no longer have to deal with that embarrassment. You know when you get a weave and keep playing that duck n dive game every time he tries to run his hands through it? Yeah, that’s not me when my fro is out. He can touch it whenever. He loves that cottony feel….
Spontaneity! We can dive into a pool any time we feel like it. I can swim like a normal person and not like a dog trying to keep my head above the water. I don’t care about “sweating the style out”. Who cares? I wash it 2 to 3 times a week anyway. I’m free to do what I want when I want.
*The fine print*….yes, there is a catch! He also has to put up with hours of conversation about hair. Now he is a guy’s guy. And I know it must be real love as he endures my various crazy requests to “touch my hair!” , “smell my hair”…”take a picture of my hair”……..or “yeah please pick up bread, eggs, milk ….and Tresemme naturals conditioner!”. The poor man has had to endure spending the afternoon with a girl with a Pick n Pay plastic bag on her head as I deep condition my hair. Sometimes I just whip out the hold clingwrap mid-conversation and start wrapping my hair. Or sometimes when I have Jamaican Black Castor Oil in my hair, he has to deal with that smokey fragrance in my hair. lol! Have you ever watched someone put eggs in their hair? Eeeeewwww!
The product junkie in me cannot stop buying products. So every time he needs some Vaseline for his lips, he has to stand there in my bathroom for a good 5minutes, wading through the bottles and tubs and tubes.
But what I am grateful for is that he has been supportive in my healthy, natural hair journey. Not many men are. Some prefer their women to always have weaves down to their backs. But he is happy with whatever makes me happy. And he encourages me to wear it out and let the sun shine on my nappy head.
I hope you enjoyed my take on natural hair in a relationship. The reality is that not all men embrace the natural hair look. Its up to you to decide how you wear your hair and how that fits in your relationship. Ultimately I believe confidence is very attractive. Your man may not necessarily like the kinks and frizz, but he will definitely love the confidence you have.....
Many of us want lovely long flowing locks. I won’t lie, that is the ultimate goal in my hair journey. I watched a Disney movie a few weeks ago, Rapunzel! She had looong shiny and strong hair. I want, I want! or hair like Yaya da Costa above, daaaayaaaamn!
But how do we achieve this? Is there some kind of potion we can apply that will magically grow our hair? Some kind of recipe that will allow the hair to sprout like Jack’s magic beans that turned into the giant stalk.
So firstly I have some bad(ish) news: there is nothing you can apply to your head or take in your body that will make your hair start magically growing to epic lengths. Ok now that’s out the way, keep reading for the reality……
Yes I said there is nothing you can do that will MAKE your hair grow. That’s because your hair is growing anyway! Even right now as you read this, it is growing. So why does it sometimes seem that our hair isn’t growing. Its easier to notice that your hair is growing when you relax your hair. You get new growth coming through, several centimeters at a time. You re-touch the hair then you see the extra length. BUT your hair doesn’t to be retaining that length. Cos by the end of the year your hair is the same length it was at the beginning, or in some cases shorter!
That leads us to the first point. Clearly our hair is always growing, but we need to retain that length!!!! What does that mean? How do we do that?
Retaining Length
We need make sure we keep the hair that is growing. The ends of your hair are the oldest parts. In our routine we need to make sure that we hold on to these. How do we start? I would say start with a fresh trim, especially if you have split ends. Since these cannot be repaired, you need to get rid of them to stop the damage.The ends of our hair need to be moisturized and conditioned regularly.
Moisturize ad seal daily, and also do special oil treatments and deep condition to keep the ends healthy.
Another reason our ends can be unhealthy and breaking is that we leave them unprotected. Sometimes your hair rubs on the clothing you are wearing. It can rub on your collar and this can rob it of moisture and also hair can catch on your collar and break. Thus many women use protective styling to retain length. This means wearing your hair in a bun, where the ends are protected from the elements and your clothing. Some women do “damp bunning” before tying the hair up they apply moisture and put it in the bun. Some go a step further and cover the bun in plastic before putting a fake bun over it. This way you ends are being super moisturized throughout the day.
Other protective styles include wigs and braids. My personal favourite is corn-rowing my hair then
wearing a half-wig. It looks cute, and my ends are always protected from the elements.
So what’s the other way we can help our hair grow? By having a healthy scalp.
Scalp care
As I mentioned before you can’t apply something to your scalp to MAKE it grow. However, you can ensure that your scalp is an conducive environment for the growing of hair….huh? ok think of it like a field of maize. If the soil is not healthy, the maize will not grow to be healthy no matter how much fertilizer you apply to the soil.
The same applies to our hair. Start with a healthy scalp. When you follow a good regimen you will notice that your scalp will get healthier and healthier. Dandruff will be minimized or completely eliminated (I will do a dedicated post on this a later date). Hair grows at its maximum rate on a clean and healthy scalp.
Washing or co-washing your hair regularly will help keep it clean. Product build up on your scalp will clog the pores on your scalp and your hair will grow at a slower rate. Everyday our scalp sweats and attracts dirt too. We need to regularly clean the scalp. In my routine, I wash twice a week and a day after I wash the hair I apply a light natural oil such as coconut oil or jojoba oil. When I have braids or a weave in, I still wash it (will also do a post on how to do this) but I mix in peppermint oil into the scalp mix, this prevents dandruff and soothes the scalp. I also use Jamaican black castor oil on my scalp. It helps to draw out impurities from the hair.
However you can also get the refined castor oil in health shops and other shops such as Pick n Pay where I buy the brand called Hercules.A word of note with the use of castor oil, as stated it draws out impurities from your scalp. Many women have reported how well it works for them, however for some with a sensitive scalp it can create a bit of sensitivity. In that case I would suggest diluting it in carrier oil such as olive or coconut. If that is not effective, I would say stop using it on you scalp. Perhaps you can try using it to seal your ends, and for your scalp try oil.
Part of scalp care….and I love this part…..is scalp massages. Your hair needs nutrients from your body to help it grow. These nutrients reach the scalp in its normal circulation function. One way to increase circulation on your scalp is to massage it. A gentle massage everyday or a few times a week will go a long way. It will help you relax at the same time too. Dab your fingers in your favourite oil and gently massage your scalp using your fingertips in small circular motions. Take care not to scratch your scalp with your fingernails.
And the last tip for growing long hair is to do it from the inside….
Healthy body=healthy hair
This is the most important part in my opinion. Ensuring that your body is healthy goes a long way in growing hair, after all hair is a reflection of internal health.
Having a healthy balanced diet is essential not only for you wellbeing but also for lovely shiny hair.
I also take a multivitamin to help me along. If you want to take supplements as well, talk to your doctor or pharmacist first, they will help you integrate this into your lifestyle and diet.
Part of body health is also exercise. I read an article from the States recently where the American Surgeon General expressed concern that black women may be sacrificing their health for their hair. He referred to the fact that African American women are hesitant to embark in exercise at times because they do not want to sweat or get their hair wet and ruin their hairstyle.
This made me sad. Our hair should not get in the way of our lives. It shouldn’t come to the point where you can’t jump in the pool with your kids because “mummy doesn’t want to get her hair wet. Its only hair, it will grow and you can always wash it. Don’t let the need to keep your locks in perfection prevent you from exercising and getting on with the rest of your life. So go on that jog, sweat it out in the sauna…your hair loves moisture! I will definitely be doing a post on African hair and exercise in the future.
I am a realist so I will also add that don’t expect your hair to grow over night. Hair grows an average of 1.25cm per month. This of course varies for each person, but you can see how long it takes to grow. Learn patience and I would avoid doing length checks too often. A watched pot never boils. Check up on length every 3 or 4 months and that will help you see how far its growing.
So that’s it! That’s how we can help our hair grow long and healthy. This is the basis of our hair care routine and we build upon these principles.
So I have a million things to share with you. My mind is firing off in a million different directions. But I will start from the beginning and build from there. today we learn the basics of a hair regimen to take with us on our hair journey. (on a side note: its sooooo hot here in Joburg! here I am sitting in my lounge with olive oil in my hair and deep conditioning it with a plastic hair cap on my head. am i crazy?! the things i do for this hair!)
How do we start our hair story?
The basic things to note are that African hair needs moisture. It LOVES moisture. Moisture is your friend. BUT it can’t survive on moisture alone, too much moisture and you will damage your hair. It also needs protein. Protein is the stuff that builds and strengthens our hair.
Each of us needs to find that moisture/protein balance. I will go into more detail on this in a later blog.
So to start off your hair journey, I would recommend you shampoo the hair with a shampoo like ORS Creamy Aloe Shampoo. This will rid if of the product build up. Try not to dry it the way I used to back in the day, i.e. vigorously rubbing my towel through it. After this make use of a leave-in condish. Gently let the air dry if you can or by using an old t-shirt(like I used to when I was relaxed). When its about 80% dry, moisturize and seal in the way we just discussed above.
One thing is for sure, most of us need to moisturize our hair every day.
So first things first, go out and get your self a good moisturizer.
I live in South Africa. Although from time to time I get my products from the UK I have learnt to look for products here in SA that work just as well.
One great product is ORS Moisturizer. I usually get this from Clicks. Don’t let the price deter you. The cheaper stuff typically is bulked up with ingredients that do nothing for your hair (more on that in another blog). ORS is thick and spreads well on relaxed hair. You need a very small amount as you will be moisturizing your hair everyday and do not want to weight it down.
Another great product I came across is Sof n Free n Pretty Gro Healthy hair lotion . This product I randomly came across in Dischem. And my natural kinks LOVE IT!!! Ok so it is for kids, but still I’m in love. Why? It contains no mineral oil, is free from parabens and is pumped with moisture. (I would say natural hair needs more moisture than relaxed hair)
When I put it in my hair, I can hear my hair thanking me for it. Lol!
So what happens when I cant run out and buy a new moisturizer? Easy! I take a clean spray bottle, in goes some water, some glycerine (super cheap), a few drops of my favourite oil, a dollop of conditioner……shake shake shale, et voila! A lovely spritz for my hair. This works well with braided hair too. It keeps hair lovely and soft J cant be mad at that right?
So we have moisturized our hair, what now? We have to seal in that moisture. This requires natural oil. I love my oils. There are so many uses for them but in this context there are some oils I can recommend for sealing. Feel free to test out a few and see what works for you. They are also great for mix n match purposes.
I usually seal with a mixture of coconut oil, olive oil and avocado oil. The oils are great for the hair shaft and help strengthen it, so I have mixed them to make a powerful combination J do not b heavy-handed with the oils. Remember you will do this routine once or twice a day, so just dip your fingers lightly in your oil and use that. Do not slather it on, u will just end up with a greasy mess.
I moisturize and seal my hair in sections. I divide it into about 8 sections and work the moisturizer and oil through them section by section (sounds like a lot of time? Don’t worry, soon you will be whizzing through this part in a short time)
You are making sure all the hair gets product.
This is the foundation of any hair journey, And both my relaxed sisters and natural sisters will need to do this routine to set them on the path to beautiful health hair.
Look out for my next blog where I talk about taking the routine to the next level. as you can see from the picture above, i am a product junkie. i am trying to treat this problem, and we will learn together how to build a simple and effective reggie thats easy on the pocket
There are very few things I take seriously in life, that's just my nature and it's got me into bucket loads of problems. But the one thing that I take very seriously is my hair! My goodness I might let you mess with my food, but not my hair! On second thoughts I'm lying there sorry. I will hurt you - so the importance of both is about even. Yet alas, if my hair had a personality and could talk it would say..." I don't take you very seriously at all. I got a mind of my own and I am just going to do whatever the fox I like. You can forget relaxing me, weaving and braiding cause at some point I am going to mess your swag!...Besides your broke ass can't maintain my expectations."
This conversation with my hair happened somewhere in my early 20s and so I became a reluctant natural sister. Eventually I accepted it, not like India Arie kind of acceptance, more like how I imagine Michael Jackson's kids will accept that thier daddy was black. Anyway, lots of people suggested I do locks, so I did and then people started saying I looked like Whoopi Goldberg. Well that helped me get thoes locks off real fast. Not that I have anything against her, but when you young and impressionable, and people compare your friends to Beyonce and Megan Good.... Whoopi Goldberg just don't cut it in the clique! I then decided early on to be like Angelique Kidjo and loss the rest. Except for the fact that I can't sing.... I am mostly at peace.
IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT WHO YOU IDENTIFY WITH
Taking care of your hair is not just about what happens on your scalp, that's really the end result. I was I think unfortunate, because when I was growing up relaxed hair was the thing to have, and I got my hair relaxed when I was 7 yrs old. I can understand why it happened, (and no it wasn't my mama who sent me to the hair salon before you all start trippin - she was straight up heart broken when she saw me) the aunt who took me to the salon wanted me to look "pretty". She thought that was what looked good for me and her rug rats and at the time that was the thinking, she wasn't wrong or mean. This was the early 90s listening to MC Hammer Can't Touch This and I remember how my scalp was on fire and the hairdressers telling me to sit there till I was good and cooked like a good little girl... "Jeno rinorwadza shingirira" (Beauty is pain, be brave). The nice hair lasted all but a few weeks, and honestly ask yourselves how a hyperactive tomboy of 8 or 7 yrs is going to look after her hair especially when she's got what feels like a cracked scalp from a chemical burn?
The sad point of the story is for most black women, their hair story begins at a young age, and it's usually a traumatic story. I'm sure all of you can think back to when it really all began, and that story has shaped how you've dealt with your hair and self image ever since. If you don't have war wounds, well good for you, you're one of the lucky few!
I don't think many women find it easy to admit that they can't do certain things with their hair. Get Pretty or Die Trying, beauty is pain - so going in, the attitude we have towards our hair is combative - but guess what? Hair is fighting back and screaming. The only way to listen is not to just take care of your hair, but of your body. For example, if you have allergies and your skin reacts, trust me the skin on top of your head has those blemishes and allergies too, and here you are putting chemicals on top of those reactive spots. Wow your head is going to be on fire. If you eat junk believe me your hair is going to look like junk too! Your hair is as much of a reflection of what goes inside your body as much as it might indicate to onlookers your social status in the world. Phew that's a lot of work for an Afro comb.
DECLARATION
I know I'm just scratching the surface of this topic and letting the dandruff fall so to speak. But be sure about one thing, healthy body=healthy hair, don't mess with your food - don't mess with the hair...so get to it! LOL
As a child my mother kept by hair very short, until an aunt suggested she start growing it. So began the routine of getting it braided by my tete (auntie) week after week. She would use twine to braid the buns and I was always excited to see how long my hair was each time we took them down. And it did grow. However, as I got older I fell for the lure of relaxers. By the time I was 13 I was relaxing my hair religiously with a Dark and Lovely kit picked up from the flea market. You see, t was no longer ‘cool’ to be seen out with natural hair-gasp!
When my hair wasn’t relaxed it was braided in the tightest braids you could imagine. Occasionally, when I remembered or felt like it, I would grease my scalp with whatever product I could find. I would say my hair got washed a maximum of 10 times a year back in that era. And slowly my hair began to deteriorate in condition.
I kept up that routine of braiding and relaxing all throughout high school and into university. My hair got thinner and thinner. And my hairline began to recede.
I moved to the UK end of 2006. It was there that I first did research on how to take care of black hair.
I was shocked seeing the videos on youtube of other women who had badly damaged hair like mine but had managed to turn around the condition of their hair. Page after page, and video after video of long luscious healthy locks. I was gobsmacked. Black women just like me whose hair was beautiful. I made the decision to start taking care of my relaxed hair.
I washed and conditioned and moisturized, and although I was retaining length my hair was still damaged.
That was my lesson number 1.
If your hair is damaged, begin your hair journey by focusing on getting it back to health. Health first, and the length will follow.
In my case, my relaxed hair was badly damaged. It was now past shoulder length with my new routine, and I went for months without relaxing it but could not retouch it because it was still unhealthy. That was lesson number two, never relax badly damaged hair!
So what was I to do? My hair was now getting length BUT it was two very different textures, the ends were thin and relaxed damaged hair. And the roots were luscious kinky, coily, thick and soft.
So I cut them off.
It took me a while, but one day I just grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped off my hair to a length I last had as a child
That was 18 months ago and I haven’t looked back! This blog is for the woman who loves her hair and sees it as her crowning glory. I LOVE HAIR! Natural hair, relaxed hair….weaves, locs,braids,….any type of black hair is good for me. What I care about is HEALTHY hair. I cringe when I think back to how I have treated my hair over the years. I know now better and would love to share my knowledge with you. At this stage, me experience is with natural hair because that’s how I wear it these days but I also know what it takes to have beautiful relaxed hair too.
So let’s share what we know and grow our hair beautiful and healthy together…..
As mentioned in previous posts I stopped relaxing in September 2009. I am so keen for my fro to just grow grow grow! The main frustration with natural hair, for me at least, is that even though it grows long, because it is kinky it appears shorter due to shrinkage. My hair falls below my shoulders when stretched but if i do a wash-n-go it looks about 8cm long L So i intend to use JBCO as a hair growth aid in 2012. I want to show off my fro by summer 2012. It is time.
